


A Queen in the Inquisitions (Cousland Banters)

by ZenkX



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Banter, Dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 02:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10687761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZenkX/pseuds/ZenkX
Summary: Just a fanfic about how my Warden Queen, Jenna Cousland, would react to the Inquisitor's companions. XD





	1. Blackwall

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHORESS’ NOTES:
> 
> Yep, here I go again.
> 
> So I read a fic in Fanfic.Net by CptJackie called Amell banter (check it out, it’s 11044651, it’s rather short but it’s a nice read) and it inspired me to make one as well, based on my DA:O character, Jenna Cousland (with some of my own personality as self-insertion)
> 
> I get the feeling it’s a bit short, but hopefully I’ll make more of them and post them up soon.  
> Like/ comment, yeah? Or I’ll smack you with bee-infested pride cookies. XD
> 
> Hope you love ‘em  
> !  
> *By the way, I have a thing where I imagine the voices of the characters while I was making this. So if you want to imagine how Cousland would probably speak, think Commander Shepard/ Jennifer Hale (not the Cremisius Aclasi voice and accent, okay?)* XD

COUSLAND: So… you’re a Warden?  
BLACKWALL: Ah… yes, Warden-Commander.  
COUSLAND: Call me Cousland, or Jenna. It’s hard to shout my title during a life-threatening situation.  
BLACKWALL: Indeed, Lady Cousland. I am… a Warden.  
COUSLAND: I see. I asked because you… feel different…  
BLACKWALL: “Feel different”?  
COUSLAND: Oh… that sounded wrong. Never mind.  
****  
COUSLAND: So, I just want to ask… what is it with Wardens and facial hair?  
BLACKWALL: Pardon?  
COUSLAND: My mentor… the one who did my Joining, Duncan… he had a lot of facial hair, too. If you tied up your hair, you’d look just like him. Are all Wardens like that?  
BLACKWALL: (chuckles) If I remember correctly, Lady Cousland, your Warden-King has very little facial hair.  
COUSLAND: He does. But only because I tell him to shave.  
****  
BLACKWALL: So, Lady Cousland, how does it feel to be in a ball with Empress Celene?  
COUSLAND: It was a headache. Thank the Maker I left that life behind.  
BLACKWALL: Not a big fan of Orlesian parties, I assume?  
COUSLAND: More like not a fan of puffy skirts.  
****  
COUSLAND: So, humor me, Blackwall… What were you before you were a Warden?  
BLACKWALL: And this question is relevant because?  
COUSLAND: I’m sure you are aware of the rumor that we Wardens are nothing more than thieves, murderers and criminals that end up fighting darkspawn for the sake of Thedas.  
BLACKWALL: (chuckles) Yes, I am quite aware of that rumor.  
COUSLAND: So, which are you?  
BLACKWALL: In truth? A man betrayed. The same as you.  
COUSLAND: I… see.  
****  
COUSLAND: Blood magic, corruption and Archdemons… Maker’s breath.  
BLACKWALL: Are you alright, Lady Cousland?  
COUSLAND: No, I’m not. Somebody revive Clarel for me so I can kill her again.  
BLACKWALL: (laugh) As much as I would like to see that again, I suggest we focus on that giant Archdemon instead.  
COUSLAND: Again? Honestly, one Archdemon is enough to last me for a lifetime.  
*****  
COUSLAND: You are a liar and a murderer.  
BLACKWALL: Yes, I am.  
COUSLAND: You killed children.  
BLACKWALL: Yes.  
COUSLAND: And you owe me a drink.  
BLACKWALL: Ye… what?  
COUSLAND: I’ve read the report. Even if you are all that, the real Blackwall still wanted to recruit you. He believes that there is still honor and valiance within you. And I agree. When this battle ends, I will accompany you to Weisshupt for the Joining, if you prefer.  
BLACKWALL: I… thank you, Lady Cousland.  
****  
COUSLAND: It was hard, wasn’t it?  
BLACKWALL: What is?  
COUSLAND: Everything falling apart in your life just because some noble got greedy.  
BLACKWALL: Yes. It was. But if I’m not mistaken, you were a noble once.  
COUSLAND: I was, but it was my brother Fergus who would’ve inherited our lands, not me.  
BLACKWALL: And what would’ve happened to you, then?  
COUSLAND: If the Blight didn’t happen? I’d probably be betrothed to some other noble’s son.  
BLACKWALL: And instead you went and became Queen of Ferelden.  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Funny how the world works eh?  
****  
BLACKWALL: *groans*  
COUSLAND: You okay, Blackwall?  
BLACKWALL: Yes, just peachy. I guess I underestimated you. You’re a quick little thing.  
COUSLAND: I am. But it’ll help big men like you to know your weaknesses. Spar again later?  
BLACKWALL: Give me a day or two. My bruises hadn’t healed yet.  
COUSLAND: Aw… did I gave widdle Thommie a boo-boo?  
BLACKWALL: *chuckles but groans again* Don’t push it, girlie.  
****  
BLACKWALL: I find it difficult that you were able to kill an Archdemon with just your bow and arrow, Lady Cousland.  
COUSLAND: I’m sure half of Thedas has the same sentiment, Blackwall.  
BLACKWALL: Did you take up a sword to deal the final blow?  
COUSLAND: Yes, I did.  
BLACKWALL: I see. Forgive me, your tale is not as clear as that of the Champion of Kirkwall’s.  
COUSLAND: That’s because I didn’t have someone like Varric with me. If I did, I bet my story would be a lot more exciting.  
BLACKWALL: *chuckles* The dwarf is prone to exaggeration, I admit.  
****  
COUSLAND: You know, Blackwall, you remind me of my husband.  
BLACKWALL: Really now?  
COUSLAND: Gallant, brave… with the resolve to save the world if needed. If I had met you sooner, perhaps I would’ve have ended with you instead of him.  
BLACKWALL: You flatter me, Lady Cousland. And perhaps if I had met you sooner, I would’ve ended with you as well.  
COUSLAND: Why, you flirty man, you.  
BLACKWALL: *laughs*  
****  
BLACKWALL: Lady Cousland, am I to understand that your arrows have Dawnstone heads?  
COUSLAND: Yes, they do.  
BLACKWALL: But aren’t they brittle? They might shatter if you hit metal.  
COUSLAND: Well, they look cute, for one thing.  
BLACKWALL: It’s pink.  
COUSLAND: It’s pretty.  
BLACKWALL: You’ve been hanging around with Iron Bull way too much.  
****  
COUSLAND: Hey, Blackwall, do you think you could make something for me?  
BLACKWALL: What specifically, My Lady?  
COUSLAND: A rocking horse, like the one you were making in the barn.  
BLACKWALL: For what? Do you have children?  
COUSLAND: Alistair and I are both Wardens, it is near impossible for us to have children. But the rocking horse might serve as… incentive. To try.  
BLACKWALL: I do not want to get into the details, but sure, I’ll make one for you.  
COUSLAND: Thank you.  
****  
BLACKWALL: Lady Cousland, if I may ask… the first time we met, you said I “felt” different.  
COUSLAND: Indeed.  
BLACKWALL: Is that because of the Joining?  
COUSLAND: Yes. Wardens are required to undergo the Joining, there are no exceptions. If you do not do it, you would not be able to acquire the skills to be a true Warden.  
BLACKWALL: I see. But what is it, exactly? A ritual? A vigil?  
COUSLAND: You… will find out soon enough.  
BLACKWALL: Well, that sounds foreboding.


	2. Cassandra

COUSLAND: So, Seeker, I believe you have been looking for me.  
CASSANDRA: I… yes.  
COUSLAND: And now that I am here?  
CASSANDRA: You… are not what I expected  
COUSLAND: (laughs) Ah! We have a romantic! How charming!  
****  
CASSANDRA: I do not understand why my opinion of you is in any way “charming”.  
COUSLAND: It is. You believed in your head that I was a strong woman, with long flowing hair and shiny armor, with bravery in her eyes and my shield shining against the sun as I valiantly fought the Archdemon.  
CASSANDRA: I wasn’t… I mean… The Archdemon was rather big, I would’ve thought you’d use a shield.  
COUSLAND: Seeker, dragons die from arrows shot by short-haired, tomboyish rouges too, you know.  
****  
CASSANDRA: I… believe I owe you an apology, Lady Cousland.  
COUSLAND: For what? For romanticizing the image of the ‘Hero of Ferelden’?  
CASSANDRA: I… yes.  
COUSLAND: No apologies needed. I always thought the Savior of Orlais was a giant hulk of a woman who brandished a gigantic axe.  
CASSANDRA: (laughs) Then I guess this makes us even.   
****  
CASSANDRA: How long were you hiding in that balcony in Halamshiral, Lady Cousland?  
COUSLAND: Honestly, if the Inquisitor didn’t drag me off to find the assassin, I would’ve stayed there all night. I hate Orlesian parties.  
CASSANDRA: On that much, we can agree on.  
****  
COUSLAND: “The Pirate’s Silver”.  
CASSANDRA: No, I haven’t.  
COUSLAND: Oh, you should!  
CASSANDRA: I will. “The Rouge’s Maiden?”  
COUSLAND: Already did. It was great, but a little too fast. “Shadows of Denerim”?  
CASSANDRA: That is a new one, yes?  
INQUISITOR: What are you two talking about?  
CASSANDRA: I… nothing!  
COUSLAND: Romance novels, Inquisitor. Any suggestions?  
CASSANDRA: Ugh…  
COUSLAND: What?  
****  
CASSANDRA: I do not understand the reason why Warden-Commander Clarel would commit to such an atrocity! Conducting blood magic and turning her fellow Wardens into demons for Corypheus!  
COUSLAND: She was afraid, Seeker. Corypheus promised them the cure for the Calling. I could understand why she would do such a thing.  
CASSANDRA: You do?  
COUSLAND: If Corypheus would keep his word about stopping the Calling, meaning I could save myself and my Warden King? I would do it in a heartbeat. Her intentions were noble, though her methods were not.  
CASSANDRA: I… perhaps that is true.  
****  
CASSANDRA: You seem rather pale, Lady Cousland. Are you hurt?  
COUSLAND: I’m fine. *coughs* That enemy knocked the wind out of me, that’s all.  
CASSANDRA: I’m sorry… I forgot that your armor is too thin. Would you like a new one made?  
COUSLAND: No, I’m fine. Just… don’t let them get too close to me next time.  
CASSANDRA: I will try and do that.  
****  
CASSANDRA: Have you kept in touch with your former companions, Lady Cousland?  
COUSLAND: All except Shale, I’m afraid. She disappeared after Wynne… died.  
CASSANDRA: The golem. Yes, I remember your tale. So there is no way to know where it could be?  
COUSLAND: Well, if you received reports of a deteriorating pigeon population in an area, that’s where she’ll probably be.  
****  
CASSANDRA: I cannot believe that you actually read that drivel, Lady Cousland.  
COUSLAND: You’ve finished it?  
CASSANDRA: I am in the middle, but I was afraid to continue. The description of the scenes were too… obscene.  
COUSLAND: And here I thought you loved smutty literature.  
CASSANDRA: Not… that much smut, thank you.  
****  
COUSLAND: It’s kind of fun, isn’t it?  
CASSANDRA: What is, Lady Cousland?  
COUSLAND: Not following the noble life you were supposed to live… adventuring with friends and acquaintances.  
CASSANDRA: I suppose you are speaking from experience.  
COUSLAND: Well, yeah. My father always knew how much I disliked my life as a noble.  
CASSANDRA: I was too young to remember my parents, but yes, I think I understand the sentiment.  
*****  
COUSLAND: So you have a brother… who died?  
CASSANDRA: Yes. He was… killed.  
COUSLAND: I see. I’m sorry. I have a brother, too. Fergus. I wanted to kill Arl Howe when I learned he killed Fergus’ family.  
CASSANDRA: And you did.  
COUSLAND: I did.   
CASSANDRA: I never had the chance to kill the men who killed my brother.   
COUSLAND: So I’ve heard. I’m sorry. But the Maker must’ve led you to this path for a reason.  
CASSANDRA: As He had done with you, I’m sure.  
COUSLAND: *chuckles* I guess so.  
****  
COUSLAND: You know, Seeker, you are rather beautiful.  
CASSANDRA: I… am?  
COUSLAND: You have really beautiful eyes. And your hair complements your face wonderfully.  
CASSANDRA: Really? I have been told that I am rather masculine.  
COUSLAND: Nonsense! Yours is a beauty as it is a strength. You should be exalted by poets, painted by artists, admired by sculptures! To not capture such beauty is a crime against art.  
CASSANDRA: Well… I… nobody has ever told me that before. I suppose…  
COUSLAND: And there we go. I believe you owe me five sovereigns yes?  
DORIAN: And for that additional blush you gave her, I’d say that warrants another five.  
COUSLAND: Thank you for your generosity, Lord Pavus.  
VARRIC: Well, I never thought I’d see the day. Here you go, Queenie.  
COUSLAND: Much obliged, Master Tethras.  
IRON BULL: *grumbles* Silver-tongue little wench…. Fine, I owe you a flagon.  
COUSLAND: Thanks, Bull.  
SERA: She turned to a tomato! *high pitched staccato laugh* Friggin’ brilliant! Here your five, yeah!  
COUSLAND: Thanks, Sera.   
BLACKWALL: It’s hard to make the Seeker blush like that. Here you go. Five sovereigns as promised.  
COUSLAND: Much obliged, Blackwall.  
CASSANDRA: *disgusted noise* I hate you all.  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Thank you, Zevran Arainai.  
****  
CASSANDRA: When this is over, Lady Cousland, what will you do?  
COUSLAND: Head back to Denerim, of course. Alistair has sent me a letter through Leliana. He said he can’t wait to hold me into his arms again. The man is quite the bumbling romantic.  
CASSANDRA: (sighs longingly)


	3. Cole

COLE: She sighs as she touches the petals, the softness faded as time went by. The rose slowly wilts, but its memory shines brighter. She hurts, but she hopes. I will see you again, I swear.  
COUSLAND: Ah yes, Varric told me of you, spirit.  
COLE: He misses you, too. So much that sometimes he can’t bear it.  
COUSLAND: Who…? Are you talking about Alistair? How did you…  
COLE: Your hurt reaches out to him, and his hurt reaches you. You are here, but he is fighting alongside you.  
COUSLAND: I… thank you, Cole.  
****  
COLE: Dead, decaying, defiled… a spirit locked in a corpse, fighting alongside her valiantly, but uncomfortably. He fights injustice, because that is what he is.   
COUSLAND: Looking around in my head again, Cole?  
COLE: You’re afraid of me. As you were afraid of Justice.  
COUSLAND: I am.  
COLE: Why? Justice didn’t hurt you. And I won’t hurt you, too.  
COUSLAND: I’m afraid you’d become like him, a spirit twisted by its very purpose.  
COLE: I will try not to do that.  
****  
COUSLAND: Is there something the matter, Cole? You’ve been looking at me strangely for an hour.  
COLE: He’s received word. There was pain in the page, but happiness as well. He’s glad that you are alright. Leliana still keeps in touch with him.  
COUSLAND: Nouns, boy. Does who still keep in touch with Leliana?  
COLE: The painted elf.  
COUSLAND: Zevran? Why would she… ah… of course.  
COLE: Years have passed, but his feelings never changed. One night was enough to burn in his memories forever, even if you loved another.  
****  
COLE: You hold many hearts.  
COUSLAND: Pardon?  
COLE: All of them left a piece of their heart with you. Even after all these years. And you left pieces of your heart with them…  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Yes, but the biggest part belongs to the King of Ferelden.  
****  
COUSLAND: Cole, do you really like your hat?  
COLE: Yes.   
COUSLAND: I was just asking because I actually have some hats tucked away with my things. Would you like to try them on?  
COLE: Do I need to get rid of my hat?  
COUSLAND: No… I just want you to try them on, if you’d like.  
COLE: Thank you. I will do that.  
****  
COLE: Seeking, searching, sifting through the faces at the ball. Was he there? Was he invited? Heart beating frantically in her chest… but he wasn’t there.  
COLE: He was somewhere else. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.  
COUSLAND: It’s alright, Cole. I imagine with the Mage-Templar war and with what happened in Redcliffe, he’d be rather busy.  
COLE: He is in Redcliffe… he stands, gazing at the statue of a griffon, eyes sad but looking with lingering love. I’ll be with you soon, my dear.   
COUSLAND: Thank you, Cole. It is gladdening to see that he thinks of me, too.  
****  
COLE: Sword in hand… trembling, twitching, tense, terrorized but true. Alistair and Wynne and Zevran watches with fearful eyes as she raised the sword to the sky, charging, running towards the enemy. She slides, gashing it’s throat, the roar rocking the tower. And she stabs down, blade warm with Blight blood. It is done. It is dead.  
COUSLAND: Ah, yes. I was just remembering that.  
COLE: You were thinking that you were going to have to do it again.  
COUSLAND: For a moment, I thought I was. But I could tell that it’s not an Archdemon… an Old God.  
COLE: Yes. It isn’t. But we still need to kill it.  
COUSLAND: True enough, Cole.  
****  
COLE: You met Rhy’s mother?  
COUSLAND: Rhy’s mother…? You mean Wynne? Yes, I travelled with her. She was a marvelous mage, and I loved her dearly. She was like another mother to me.  
COLE: I’m… sorry she died.  
COUSLAND: She was on borrowed time, Cole. And I could not think of a nobler end for her than giving her life for your friend.  
COLE: She thought about you, when she faded. She said goodbye to you. She said it was an honor to have fought alongside you.  
COUSLAND: And it was an honor to have had her with me… as it is an honor to have you, Cole.  
COLE: I… Thank you.  
****  
COLE: Can you do it again?  
COUSLAND: Do “what” again, Cole?  
COLE: Sing. Like when you sang at the tavern with Maryden last night with Bull and Varric and Dorian. In uthenera…  
COUSLAND: Now’s not a good time, Cole, perhaps later.  
COLE: I really like it when you’re singing. Your voice calms the people, heals their hurt, even for just a while. You should do it more often.  
COUSLAND: *laughs* I doubt Maryden would agree to me taking over her duties, but perhaps when this is done, I will consider it.  
****  
COUSLAND: How is humanity treating you, Cole?  
COLE: It’s… hard. I can’t flit, fly… float like I used to. I am here. Always here. And there’s pain… pricking prodding… I wanted to kill that Templar.  
COUSLAND: As one who killed the man who killed my parents, I quite understand.  
COLE: But he was bad. He hurt people.  
COUSLAND: I know. But it wasn’t healthy, letting revenge eat at me like that did.  
COLE: How do I make the pain stop?  
COUSLAND: Honestly, Cole… I don’t know either. When you find the answer, let me know.  
****  
COLE: You like cats.  
COUSLAND: Yes, I do.  
COLE: But you like dogs, too.  
COUSLAND: Yes, I do as well.  
COLE: They like you, too. All the animals like you.  
COUSLAND: They… do? My brother always told me that animals come close to me willingly. I don’t know why, though.  
COLE: You’re warm. Soft. There’s a light in you, and it beckons. Brave, strong, but gentle. She will protect us. She will take care of us. She will never harm us. They like you a lot.  
COUSLAND: Thanks for that, Cole. I’ll do my best for the kittens you gave me.  
COLE: Just… keep them away from him… loud, barking… strong and brave but… drooling. They don’t like him.  
COUSLAND: Yes. I promise to keep them away from Barkspawn.  
****  
COLE: Thank you.  
COUSLAND: For what, Cole?  
COLE: That man in the courtyard. He was scared, seeking, searching for salvation. He didn’t know who to ask. But you helped him. You helped his family.  
COUSLAND: Sometimes, you only need to see the fear in someone’s eyes to know they are in pain, Cole. He looked distraught, so I helped.  
COLE: Yes. His family is safe, saved. He owes you his life. He swears to help us because of you.  
COUSLAND: He owes me nothing. I help because it is right, not because I want anything in return.  
COLE: Yes. I understand. Thank you. Again.  
COUSLAND: *chuckles* You’re welcome, Cole.  
****  
COUSLAND: Cole, are you okay?  
COLE: You have my hat. Why did you take my hat?  
COUSLAND: Oh, sorry. Here. I fixed it.  
COLE: Fixed… it?  
COUSLAND: I saw rain dripping through it when we were in the Storm Coast. I patched it up so you won’t get wet anymore.  
COLE: You… helped… me?   
COUSLAND: *chuckles* What?   
COLE: Sorry. I’m just not used to… being helped. Thank you.  
COUSLAND: I know. You’re welcome, Cole.  
****  
COUSLAND: So, will you be staying with the Inquisition, Cole?  
COLE: Yes. There is still many hurts I need to heal.  
COUSLAND: I understand. But if you wish to visit me in Denerim, please knock or at least send word that you’re coming.  
COLE: The King intends to lock you in his bedchambers when you return, so yes, I’ll be sure to send word before I visit you.  
COUSLAND: Oh… my… ah… thank you for…. Letting me know.


	4. Dorian

DORIAN: You know… I have the feeling I have met you already.  
COUSLAND: I would not be surprised. Our family traveled to Tevinter sometimes on business.  
DORIAN: The daughter of Teryn Cousland… ah, yes, I remember now. You’re much older now, though.  
COUSLAND: And you’re still the uncouth, little boy clinging to his mother’s skirt.  
DORIAN: Yes, but at least I’m still cute.  
****  
COUSLAND: You know, Dorian, I do like your clothes. Where did you find such fabrics?  
DORIAN: Envious, are you, Lady Cousland?  
COUSLAND: A bit. My husband has horrible tastes in fabrics, I’m afraid. Imagine walking into a soiree with a gown made of Ferelden cotton.  
DORIAN: Oh, my poor girl! You have my sympathies! Come, I shall take you to the perfect shop for all your fabrics.  
****  
DORIAN: So… I heard that King Alistair was a Templar before he became a Warden.  
COUSLAND: He is.  
DORIAN: Then was he… you know… how was his performance?  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Oh, you sound just like Leliana.  
****  
DORIAN: That one?  
COUSLAND: Too broody. Negative 1. The one with the red shirt?  
DORIAN: Oh! He has a delectable derriere. An 8… the one in the green sash?  
COUSLAND: His waist is too narrow. 2.  
DORIAN: You’re so picky!  
COUSLAND: Why do you think I married the King of Ferelden?  
****  
DORIAN: If you don’t mind me asking, Lady Cousland, is your travels during the Blight as stressing as this?  
COUSLAND: My travel during the time of the Blight was more… rushed, but yes, it is just as stressing.  
DORIAN: I should think so. From what I’ve heard you had an Antivan assassin with you.  
COUSLAND: Yes, his name is Zevran. But he wasn’t so bad.  
DORIAN: Did he try to seduce you out of your armor? Antivans are often like that.  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Far too many times, I’m afraid.  
****  
DORIAN: I imagine the ball at Halamshiral reminded you much of your court life as Ferelden’s Queen, Lady Cousland.  
COUSLAND: Between the subtle machinations, the Orlesian wine and the despair-wrought meats, I half-expected Alistair to come in bringing a plate of cheese.  
DORIAN: It was rather amazing, isn’t it? How did they get their sweet meats to taste of despair?  
COUSLAND: I imagine they bludgeoned their serving girls until their tears coat the ham.  
DORIAN: That does account for the ham’s additional moisture and saltiness, I suppose.  
****  
DORIAN: Well, this must be unexpected for you, Lady Cousland. Facing off against an Archdemon for the second time in your life.  
COUSLAND: That creature may be a dragon, but It’s definitely NOT an Archdemon. It would have a lot more darkspawn around it if it was one.  
DORIAN: Is that all?  
COUSLAND: Well… it would be a lot more exciting to kill, if it was one.  
DORIAN: *laughs* You are a rather peculiar woman, Hero of Ferelden.  
****  
COUSLAND: I can’t believe you could actually drank that swill in the tavern, Dorian.  
DORIAN: I’m afraid that after I raided Skyhold’s cellar, the Inquisitor kept me out. The drinks are a little tolerable there, though.  
COUSLAND: This will not do. When we are done here, we will head to Denerim and feast on some decent wine instead of this Anders vintage.  
DORIAN: I will hold you to that, Lady Cousland.  
****  
DORIAN: Lady Cousland, was I imagining it, or were you in the library the other day?  
COUSLAND: I was looking at something for my brother.  
DORIAN: Well, there’s a surprise.  
COUSLAND: Because you thought we Southerners don’t read?  
DORIAN: Ah, I have been found out.  
COUSLAND: Well, I have met some idiot Southerners, so I understand your sentiment. That’s why I decided I should become Queen.   
DORIAN: Advocating education for all, are you, Lady Cousland?  
COUSLAND: Alistair hasn’t signed my proclamation yet.  
DORIAN: Ah, idiot Southerners.  
COUSLAND: He can be an idiot, but at least its endearing.  
****  
COUSLAND: Tell me, Dorian, is the training in the Minrathous Circle different from any Fereldan Circle?  
DORIAN: Some aspects of it, probably.   
COUSLAND: Such as what? Blood magic, I presume?  
DORIAN: Oh most definitely. In Minrathous, blood magic is encouraged, though hidden from the public eye.  
COUSLAND: I imagine they do. Abominations are hideous things. I fought too many of them.  
DORIAN: And what have you gathered from that experience?  
COUSLAND: That there are too many desperate people in this world.  
DORIAN: Ah… true enough, Lady Cousland.  
****  
DORIAN: Lady Cousland, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your effort.  
COUSLAND: You’re quite welcome, Dorian.  
DORIAN: Although I would also appreciate your discretion. If the others in the tavern find out you’ve given me a Fifteen-year old Rivaini wine…  
COUSLAND: They’d murder you and steal it from you. I know, Dorian. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.  
****  
COUSLAND: You know, Dorian, you are a rather handsome man.  
DORIAN: As I have been often told.  
COUSLAND: You should want to marry a girl, spread that handsomeness around. The world would benefit from little handsome teeny tiny Pavuses.  
DORIAN: Ah… you are sounding much like my mother, Lady Cousland.  
COUSLAND: I am? Then I am sorry. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.  
DORIAN: That is… it’s alright, Lady Cousland. Perhaps I just get sick of talks like that. I get enough of it already back in Tevinter.  
COUSLAND: I imagine so. But I think I understand.   
DORIAN: Really now?  
COUSLAND: Living a lie, trying to please your parents… it is a hard life. You are a brave man to have accepted who you are, no matter what your family thinks of you.  
DORIAN: I… thank you, Lady Cousland. I just wished my father… would’ve thought the same.  
COUSLAND: Give him time. He will.  
****  
COUSLAND: Dorian, have you read the book “Leashed Lies”?  
DORIAN: From the library? Yes, I have.  
COUSLAND: Was it complete when you read it? Because there was a page missing when it came to the part about the stable boy and the coachman…  
DORIAN: *coughs*  
COUSLAND: Dorian.  
DORIAN: *chuckles but then groans* Sorry. I’ll be putting it back later.  
COUSLAND: Thank you.  
****  
COUSLAND: *disgusted noise*  
DORIAN: What? What?  
COUSLAND: For the Maker’s sake, Dorian, stop wearing Plaidweave!  
DORIAN: This is the one the Armorer gave me! Would you rather have me prowl about naked as I cast spells?!  
COUSLAND: *chuckles* Well, it would be an impressive sight.  
DORIAN: Of course it will be. But I am not that sort of fool.  
COUSLAND: I believe our Master Harriet needs a sternly worded letter.  
DORIAN: Or a whole fashion catalog.  
****  
DORIAN: I have it.  
COUSLAND: Have what, Dorian?  
DORIAN: The latest catalog for the Orlesian Fashion Review.  
COUSLAND: If there are no designs from Arlanté DeCartier, I am throwing that shit away.  
DORIAN: I know, right?! His designs are remarkable! Why don’t these editors ever include his gowns?  
COUSLAND: Because we are more fashionable than the Orlesians, Dorian dear.  
DORIAN: True. Very true.  
****  
DORIAN: Heading back to Denerim when this is done?  
COUSLAND: Of course. And you?  
DORIAN: Staying for a while, but I will be returning to Tevinter soon enough.  
COUSLAND: *laughs* I’ll be sure to add you to my husband’s parties from now, Dorian.   
DORIAN: *laughs* I would be honored to attend them, Lady Cousland.


	5. Iron Bull

COUSLAND: Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun.  
IRON BULL: The Arishok taught you Qunlat well, Hero.  
COUSLAND: No, I read it by myself. He just taught me the pronunciation.  
IRON BULL: He did?  
COUSLAND: Yes… well, no. He got so annoyed every time I read it aloud to him in the wrong way that he ended up correcting everything that I said.  
****  
IRON BULL: So, you traveled with the Arishok before, huh?  
COUSLAND: Yes. My husband did as well. Back then, we knew him as Sten.  
IRON BULL: A Barasaad, yes. I’ve heard as much. Have you spoken to him recently?  
COUSLAND: I traveled with him for a while to Seheron, but I returned to Denerim shortly after to take care of the Wardens of Amaranthine. Alistair went with him a few years ago, but I haven’t spoken with him for a while. Why do you ask?  
IRON BULL: I’m about to send a report back to the Arishok. Anything you want to say to him?  
COUSLAND: (laughs) Just write down ‘softie’. He’ll get it.  
****  
IRON BULL: So, Hero, you told me that the Arishok called you ‘kadan’.  
COUSLAND: Yes, he did.  
IRON BULL: You do know that it’s a term of endearment, right? It means ‘my heart’.  
COUSLAND: Oh... I see.  
IRON BULL: You didn’t know?   
COUSLAND: Actually, he said that it meant the center of the chest. Like the center of a person. That’s… too bad, almost.  
IRON BULL: What’s too bad?  
COUSLAND: That if I had probably played my cards right, I would have been the Arishok’s queen.  
IRON BULL: *laughs*  
****  
IRON BULL: So these are chocolate chip?  
COUSLAND: Yes. Be careful, if you look at it the wrong way, it might look like raisins.  
SERA: Ugh! I hate raisins!  
IRON BULL: Huh… these tastes good! No wonder the Arishok likes them!  
COUSLAND: Just wait until we get back to Skyhold. I got a chocolate brownie recipe that will knock your socks off.  
IRON BULL: (groans)  
COUSLAND: What’s up, big guy?  
IRON BULL: I think I ate too many Orlesian pastries…  
COUSLAND: I told you not to eat too much. Some of the stuff they serve is edible but poisonous in massive amounts. I’ve attended far too many Orlesian parties with Alistair to be wary.  
IRON BULL: But… the food looked so tasty.  
COUSLAND: The Empress’ favorite wine is literally poisoned, Bull. So the food is probably the same. Just hang on until we get to camp, I’ll see if I can help you.  
****  
COUSLAND: The Iron Bull… you have my sympathies. I know that the Qun meant a lot to you.  
IRON BULL: Thank you… I guess.  
COUSLAND: But I firmly believe that you will not be like the others. As long as you have the Chargers and the Inquisition, you would do well. They will anchor you. But, if it means anything… I will gladly offer my services to kill you, should you turn savage like the other Tal-Vashoths. You have my word.  
IRON BULL: *sigh* Thanks, Hero.  
****  
IRON BULL: Shit, how did you do that?!  
COUSLAND: Do what, Bull?  
IRON BULL: That thing when you flipped … and then you stabbed… and then I beheaded… it was AWESOME!  
COUSLAND: *laughs* I have been told that I am ridiculously awesome, yes.  
****  
IRON BULL: You know, Hero, you’re kind of light for a human.  
COUSLAND: Well, I am a rouge, Bull.  
IRON BULL: Maybe I should perch you on my horns sometime, have you shoot arrows while I charge the enemy…  
COUSLAND: Like a walking tower?  
IRON BULL: YEAH!  
COUSLAND: *laughs* I’m up for it if you are.  
****  
COUSLAND: What’s up with the look, Bull?  
IRON BULL: You have really… pretty red hair, Hero.  
COUSLAND: And married, as you might have noticed.  
IRON BULL: Well, your husband’s not here.  
COUSLAND: *rolls eyes* Alright, fine, take off your pants.  
IRON BULL: Er… what?  
COUSLAND: Take of your pants. You want me to ride the Bull, right?   
IRON BULL: Uhh… that is… I didn’t mean… I was just…!  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Yup, just as I thought.  
****  
COUSLAND: 99 bottles of beer on the wall~~~, 99 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around…  
IRON BULL: 98 bottles of beer on the wall!  
COUSLAND: *chuckles* Grand.  
****  
IRON BULL: Alright. Serious question. Which do you hate the most: darkspawn, demons, Vints or Templars?  
COUSLAND: You mean, to fight?  
IRON BULL: Yeah.  
COUSLAND: *silence* Broodmothers.  
IRON BULL: That’s… huh… didn’t really think of that.  
COUSLAND: Nobody wants to think of Broodmothers, Bull.  
****  
IRON BULL: *grunts*  
COUSLAND: What’s up, Bull?  
IRON BULL: There are way too many demons in Thedas than I would’ve liked.  
COUSLAND: I know. I prefer darkspawn than demons any day.  
****  
IRON BULL: Urgh… Motherf…  
COUSLAND: Still hurting, Bull?  
IRON BULL: You’re damned fast for a human. Must’ve got in… what? Ten slashes on me before my sword came down?  
COUSLAND: Fifteen, if you count the markings on your back.  
IRON BULL: Shit.  
COUSLAND: Let me know if you need a sparring partner again.   
IRON BULL: Thanks, but no thanks. I know when I’m outmatched.  
COUSLAND: *chuckles*  
****  
IRON BULL: So, what is up for you, Hero, when all of this is said and done?  
COUSLAND: I’ll be heading back to Denerim, of course. Alistair misses me already, and I him.  
IRON BULL: That’s too bad… you’ve got a good aim. I would’ve liked to have you in the Chargers.  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Don’t worry, Bull. If you ever need another archer in a job, just send the word. I’ll take weird jobs from you than Orlesian parties any day.


	6. Sera

COUSLAND: *blows raspberry* Pbbbbtttttt!!  
SERA: *blows raspberry* Pbbbbtttttt!!  
COUSLAND: PBBBBTTTTTTT!!  
SERA: PPPBBBTTTTTTT!!!  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Oh, I like you already.  
****  
SERA: I remember you, you know.  
COUSLAND: Do you now?  
SERA: Yeah, you gave me that red box in Denerim.  
COUSLAND: Oh! Were you the girl peeking at the doorway when you took it?  
SERA: Yeah. Thanks for not opening it, yeah?  
COUSLAND: I was tempted, actually.  
SERA: *laughs* Good thing you didn’t, it was full of bees.  
COUSLAND: That… is actually brilliant.   
****  
SERA: Oh, I like you now, too!  
COUSLAND: Why?  
SERA: Those… cookies you gave to Bull! He gave me some, yeah! Friggin’ brilliant!  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Yes, well… Alistair and Sten always did love the cookies I made.  
SERA: I could hug your titties so much right now.  
COUSLAND: Sorry, but my titties are the sole property of the King of Ferelden.  
SERA: *laughs*Titties for the King. I like you!  
****  
SERA: Friggin’ nobles… oh right… you’re a noble. Er… sorry.  
COUSLAND: That I may be, but I’m not like the prissy-pantss in Halamshiral, am I?  
SERA: *laughs* No… you’re way more friggin’ fun.  
COUSLAND: I’m glad you think so… because I left a little “package” in Halamshiral, and I was hoping one of your “Friends” might… set it off for me.  
SERA: Wait what? I didn’t notice you left a package! What’s in it?  
COUSLAND: Let’s just say… the manor will be “a-buzz” with stories once it’s done.  
SERA: *laughs* I’ll get it done right away.  
****  
SERA: So… you’re a Warden-Commander like Clarel, yeah?  
COUSLAND: I am.  
SERA: Will you be like her? If Corphy-face had come to you instead of to her? Will you turn your Wardens into a friggin’ demon army just to escape… whatever that is… the Calling?  
COUSLAND: Honestly? I cannot say. I have a feeling that I have done something far worse than what Clarel did.  
SERA: What d’you mean?  
COUSLAND: I inducted the Grey Warden who caused the Kirkwall Explosion and let him escape from Amaranthine.  
SERA: Pfffbbbtttt. At least, you didn’t turn him into a demon.  
COUSLAND: No, but it feels like I unleashed one.   
****  
SERA: Bunny rabbit.  
COUSLAND: Dog.  
SERA. Hmm. I see it. Heart.  
COUSLAND: Griffons.  
SERA: Shite. You’re right.  
INQUISITOR: What are you talking about?  
COUSLAND: Sorry, we were looking at clouds.  
SERA: That one looks like someone’s arse! *staccato laugh*  
****  
COUSLAND: Sera, am I to understand that you were the one who put lizards in my blanket?  
SERA: What?! Me?! Noooo…  
COUSLAND: No, I don’t mind it actually. I like lizards. Animals in general.  
SERA: You do?  
COUSLAND: Well, as long as they’re not as big as dragons, I think I’ll like them.  
SERA: Imagine sleeping on a bed roll with a dragon. That’d be a shite way to wake up.  
COUSLAND: True.  
****  
SERA: That was a nice shot, yeah?  
COUSLAND: Hmm?  
SERA: Last night, at the tavern. You shot those two apples on Bull’s horns with two arrows with one draw. Friggin’ brilliant!  
COUSLAND: Thanks, I try to impress.  
SERA: Can you teach me that?  
COUSLAND: When we have the time, sure.  
****  
SERA: So, Queenie, do you prefer arrows or knives?  
COUSLAND: Both, depending on the situation.  
SERA: What do you think of Varric’s Bianca?  
COUSLAND: She’s exquisite. I wish I had something like it, though it is a bit… winchy.  
SERA: I know right?! Friggin’ nasty.  
****  
COUSLAND: So, Sera, let me get this straight, you break a bottle on your armor to use your abilities?  
SERA: Yeah.  
COUSLAND: But… how can you not get hurt from all the shards?  
SERA: I dunno. It’s a mystery for the ages.  
COUSLAND: Ugh, you’re no help.  
****  
SERA: So… Red Templars.  
COUSLAND: Sewn arse to mouth to each other.  
SERA: *staccato laugh* Ewww! That’s friggin’ nasty.   
COUSLAND: They deserve it, though. Your turn. Venatori.  
SERA: Hmm… *chuckles* Glass bowls to the head full of ear wigs.  
COUSLAND: Hmm… demon insects to the head. Perfect.  
VARRIC: You know, a friend of mine and I used to play a game like that.  
COUSLAND: You’re welcome to join in, Master Tethras.  
VARRIC: Okay then. Corypheus.  
COUSLAND & SERA: Bees shoved up the arse.  
VARRIC: *chuckles* And I had expected a different answer. Shows what I know.  
****  
SERA: Wait, was that you?  
COUSLAND: Was I what, Sera?  
SERA: You know! That thing with the underpants…  
COUSLAND: I disavow any knowledge of pranks occurring in Skyhold in my presence.  
****  
COUSLAND: Say, Sera… when this is over, where do you think you would go?  
SERA: I don’t know. Anywhere, yeah. Can’t really say. The inquisition is way too much fun.  
COUSLAND: Oh, I see. I guess I’ll leave all my ‘fun’ stuff for you, then.  
SERA: What are you on about? What fun things?”  
COUSLAND: Oh you know… the jar of bees and earwigs we had… I haven’t really used them lately.  
SERA: *laughs* Oh, just leave them to me, Wardie. I got just the person to use them on.


	7. Solas

COUSLAND: So, you are a Dreamer, then? You walk the Fade to search for lost histories?  
SOLAS: Yes, I am, Hero of Ferelden. I dreamt at many places. Including Highever.  
COUSLAND: Did you now?  
SOLAS: Indeed. You were very brave, as were your parents. The world would’ve been a better place if there were more people like them.  
COUSLAND: Thank you, Solas.  
****  
SOLAS: Am I to understand, Hero, that you married the Bastard King of Ferelden?  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Yes, I did. A King’s Bastard he may be, but he is a good man.  
SOLAS: Indeed. I am just amazed that you were able to raise such a man to the throne with nothing more than just his bloodline as basis.  
COUSLAND: I maybe Fereldan, but I know the Great Game just as any Orlesian.  
SOLAS: I see. Your cunning is most admirable.  
COUSLAND: You flatter me, Solas *laughs*  
****  
COUSLAND: So is it true, Solas, that you dreamt at Ostagar?  
SOLAS: Indeed, I did, Hero.  
COUSLAND: Then tell me, what was Loghain’s reason as to why he left us behind like that?  
SOLAS: He thought that Ostagar was overwhelmed, that he would rather risk the lives of the Wardens rather than his soldiers.  
COUSLAND: And so he left us to die? Typical.  
SOLAS: In truth… he was right. If he had sent his men in, the darkspawn would have wiped out all the soldiers, and the whole of Ferelden would be massacred due to lack of soldiers. What you view as treachery was nothing more than a General’s tactic to counter the impending darkspawn horde.  
COUSLAND: *snorts* Hmph.  
SOLAS: And if he had not done so, and with the intervention of the Witches of the wilds, you would not be here, Hero.  
COUSLAND: Perhaps…  
****  
SOLAS: You look like you are contemplating something deeply, Hero. May I ask what it is that seems to trouble you?  
COUSLAND: I saved Ferelden from a Blight, and now this… a Breach in the sky, mages and templars fighting, Civil Wars in Orlais. By the Maker, what is the world coming to?  
SOLAS: But you must admit, adventures like these are what you strive for.  
COUSLAND: Honestly? I feel like I’m getting too old for this shit.  
SOLAS: *laughs*  
****  
SOLAS: Hero, if I may ask, why is it that Wardens are the only ones who can end the Blight?  
COUSLAND: I’m sorry, Solas, but I’m afraid that what you ask is a trade secret of the Wardens.  
SOLAS: And so you are not allowed to speak of it?  
COUSLAND: As much as I would like to tell you, I cannot. I’m sorry.  
SOLAS: I see. Forgive me for prying as well, Hero.  
COUSLAND: I can tell you one thing. Being a Warden is a burden not anyone should take lightly. I could tell you are a learned soul, and had you been one of us, you would have contributed a lot to the order.  
SOLAS: I am afraid I have a similar burden, Hero. Perhaps it is up to people like us bear such a load… for the sake of our people.  
COUSLAND: Indeed.  
****  
COUSLAND: The way you cast your spells is most interesting, Solas. And yet you did not learn from a Circle?  
SOLAS: Yes. You can learn anything if you travel the Fade as often as I.  
COUSLAND: Then I wish I had your talent.  
SOLAS: In truth, it is a blessing that you do not have it. As wonderful as it is to travel the Fade, I am afraid that not many people can understand it.  
COUSLAND: When you put it that way, then perhaps it’s good that I do not have them.  
****  
SOLAS: Lady Cousland? Was I mistaken? You were reading an elven tome at the Library.  
COUSLAND: Indeed. What of it?  
SOLAS: I was just, surprised. I didn’t know humans such as you are interested in Dalish legends and language.  
COUSLAND: One of our servants was Dalish. She thought me when I was young. Of course, I didn’t let my mother know. It would’ve scandalized her. And besides, there is nothing wrong with learning the legends of other cultures. There are lessons to be learned in all of them.  
SOLAS: I see. I wish more people would have that opinion, Lady Cousland.  
COUSLAND: And that is why I became an unpopular Queen in Ferelden.  
****  
COUSLAND: I trust Halamshiral has treated you well, Solas.   
SOLAS: I had a few nobles order me around, but it was most enlightening to see the ball from the eyes of a servant.  
COUSLAND: Indeed. I’m sick of attending balls as a noble, in truth.  
SOLAS: Is that why you hid behind the curtains?  
COUSLAND: Yes. If I had another servant give me plate of sweet, frilly cakes, it would be too soon.  
SOLAS: Not a fan of the cakes then? I happen to like them.  
COUSLAND: My friend, I am Fereldan. Give me cheese or let me die.  
SOLAS: *laughs*  
****  
SOLAS: What the Wardens are trying to accomplish is a travesty! Creating a demon army to charge the Deep Roads as a pre-emptive strike to prevent the Blight. Do you agree to this, Hero?  
COUSLAND: I am here fighting them with you, am I not?  
SOLAS: I… indeed. Forgive me, you are not with the Orlesian Wardens, and I could see that you condone this.  
COUSLAND: I’ve dealt with enough blood magic to last me a lifetime, as Cullen no doubt remembers. But I do understand what Clarel was trying to accomplish.  
SOLAS: Do you?  
COUSLAND: Wardens are just as human as everyone else, and they fear Death just as much as anyone. If what Erimond offered meant that they could delay their end for a little while longer, I’m afraid the Fereldan Wardens would have done the same.  
SOLAS: But you will not?  
COUSLAND: No, I will not. There are much worse things than dying.  
SOLAS: You are a rare spirit, Warden-Commander Cousland.  
****  
SOLAS: Commander Cousland, I must thank you for that tea you gave me last night.  
COUSLAND: Did it help at all?  
SOLAS: It did, thank you. I slept very well. I’ve always thought that tea would cause me to lose sleep.  
COUSLAND: Not all teas can cause difficulty in sleeping, Solas. Some are actually great for insomnia. I drank them during my travels.   
SOLAS: You had difficulty sleeping?  
COUSLAND: When you see death and destruction before your very eyes, it's very hard to discern which are dreams and which are reality.  
SOLAS: I quite understand.  
COUSLAND: Shall I order more for you?  
SOLAS: If you could find more for me, I would appreciate it greatly.  
****  
COUSLAND: Solas, may I ask you something? I would understand if you would not answer, but I am… curious.  
SOLAS: What is it, Commander Cousland?  
COUSLAND: The Dalish often have markings on their faces… vallaslin, if I recall correctly. Even some of the Alienage elves have them. I was… wondering why you don’t have it.  
SOLAS: Ah. I see.  
COUSLAND: Did I offend? It is a purely academic question. I was wondering what it meant, not having them.  
SOLAS: I am not offended, Commander Cousland, but… I’m afraid I cannot answer. It is of… a highly personal matter.  
COUSLAND: Oh… I see. I will say no more then.  
SOLAS. Thank you.  
****  
SOLAS: Am I to understand, Commander, that you have once saved a clan of elves from… werewolves?  
COUSLAND: I see you have been listening to Leliana’s songs about me.  
SOLAS: I have found a book that narrates it. Is it true?  
COUSLAND: Yes, indeed.  
SOLAS: How foolish.   
COUSLAND: Desperation leads all people to questionable acts, Solas.  
SOLAS: Yes… perhaps that is true.  
****  
COUSLAND: Your art is really impressive, Solas.  
SOLAS: Thank you. It is a form of meditation for me. I pattern my breathing as I paint with my brush. With each stroke, a breath. With each color, an emotion.  
COUSLAND: I could never do art like that. My brother was more artistic than I. I prefer training.  
SOLAS: Ah, but fighting with daggers or a bow is an art in itself. For every draw of a bow, a breath. Every release, an emotion.  
COUSLAND: When you put it that way, I guess you have a point.   
****  
SOLAS: Will you be returning to Denerim when this is over, Warden Cousland?  
COUSLAND: I am. I have learned a lot during our travels and I intend to talk to Alistair about them. You would be most welcome to visit us, of course. My husband would be very interested in hearing your thoughts about governance. Contrary to popular belief, my husband can be rather intelligent.  
SOLAS: Perhaps I might do that. Thank you for the invitation.


	8. Varric

VARRIC: Looks like I’m moving up in the world. First, the Champion of Kirkwall, then the King of Ferelden and now I’m with the Heroic Queen of Ferelden.  
COUSLAND: You’re rubbing shoulders with celebrities, it seems, Master Tethras. But from what I’ve heard, you’re quite a celebrity yourself.  
VARRIC: Not as famous as you, Queenie, but I get by.  
****  
COUSLAND: You know, I read your book, too.  
VARRIC: Which one, Queenie? I’ve written quite a lot of them.  
COUSLAND: Hard In Hightown, of course. But also… Swords and Shields.  
VARRIC: Really now?  
COUSLAND: Yes, I’m afraid I’m as much of a hopeless romantic as the Seeker.  
VARRIC: *laughs* No wonder you’re married to the King.  
COUSLAND: Alistair is quite the Prince Charming, you know.  
****  
VARRIC: Honestly, Queenie, I could tell you’re about to burst. Why are you giving me the side eye?  
COUSLAND: Honestly? I was just wondering if you would autograph my copy of “Hard in Hightown”.  
VARRIC: *laughs* You’re as bad as the Seeker, I swear.  
COUSLAND: I know.  
****  
VARRIC: So, Queenie, you were with Anders in Amaranthine, right? What was he like?  
COUSLAND: Oh, he was a terrific healer. And he was funny and sweet, we played with Ser-Pounce-A-Lot all the time. He made me laugh a lot during our travels. *laughs* Honestly, if I wasn’t married to Alistair, I would’ve jumped him.  
VARRIC: Then what happened to him that could make him blow up the Chantry?  
COUSLAND: *sigh* Justice.  
VARRIC: Ah… point taken.  
****  
VARRIC: Queenie, I received word from… Anders.  
COUSLAND: Did you now?  
VARRIC: He said he was… sorry for what he did.   
COUSLAND: *sigh*Tell him… I know.  
****  
VARRIC: Being in Halamshiral must’ve made you miss your life at court, Queenie.  
COUSLAND: In truth, being in Halamshiral made me miss Alistair more than my life at court.  
VARRIC: Why is that?  
COUSLAND: Hearing his snide remarks about Orlesian nobility and foppery makes parties much more bearable.  
VARRIC: *laughs* He is a rather sarcastic man, isn’t he?  
COUSLAND: More than you know.  
****  
VARRIC: So does this mean that you’ve been hearing the Calling, too, Queenie?  
COUSLAND: Yes, I do. It’s the reason why I left, because Alistair and I have been hearing it for some time.  
VARRIC: How were you able to bear it?  
COUSLAND: Listening to you makes it more… distant.  
VARRIC: *laughs* So I was the one keeping you from going nuts? I’m flattered, Queenie.  
COUSLAND: Why else do you think I would always drink and play Wicked Grace with you?  
****  
VARRIC: I’m sorry about Stroud, Queenie.  
COUSLAND: He was not one of mine, but it is hard to see a brother-in-arms fall like that.  
VARRIC: Wish things had been different?  
COUSLAND: No. If things had been different, I get the feeling that Alistair would’ve have died in Stroud’s place. And I cannot bear that for a second.  
****  
VARRIC: You know, I’ve heard your name mentioned a lot while I was in Kirkwall.  
COUSLAND: Really?  
VARRIC: Yeah. My brother hired Bodahn Feddic and his boy Sandal during our expedition to the Deep Roads.  
COUSLAND: You met Bodahn and Sandal? Maker’s breath, how are they? They left us after Alistair’s coronation.  
VARRIC: Last I heard, they went back to Orlais. Something about Enchantment!-boy showing off for the Empress.  
COUSLAND: Oh, I do miss them.  
VARRIC: Write it down at a letter, Queenie, and I’ll have one of my boys give it to them.  
COUSLAND: Thanks, Varric. I will do that.  
****  
COUSLAND: So, Varric, does your crossbow have a name?  
VARRIC: Why yes! Meet the Queen of Ferelden, Bianca.  
COUSLAND: You named your crossbow “Bianca”? Where did you get her name?  
VARRIC: Sorry. But that story is strictly confidential, Queenie.  
COUSLAND: I just thought you’d name it something else. Like… Eye-piercer or Oathbreaker or Goblin-killer. Anything that ends in “-er”, probably.  
VARRIC: *snorts* Please. I’m an author. Anyone who names their sword something like that have a severe lack of imagination.  
COUSLAND: *chuckles* Well, there is truth in that.  
****  
VARRIC: Alright, Queenie. I can tell you’re about to burst. Spill it.  
COUSLAND: I’m sorry. I was just thinking… if you’d allow me to have a go with… Bianca.  
VARRIC: *silence*  
COUSLAND: Varric?  
VARRIC: Sorry, but you just put a really inappropriate image in my head.  
COUSLAND: *laughs* Not like what you’re thinking, you oaf! I mean to shoot a few shots.  
VARRIC: I know what you meant, Queenie, and sure, I’ll let you pull her trigger sometime.  
COUSLAND: That sounds dirty, Varric.  
VARRIC: You started it, Queenie.  
COUSLAND: *laughs*  
****  
COUSLAND: Cough it up, dwarf. 20 sovereigns.  
VARRIC: Shit. How in the hell did you learn to play Diamondback like that?  
COUSLAND: I learned it from Isabela.  
VARRIC: Well… shit. Now I know.  
****  
VARRIC: So, I’ve heard of a really… juicy detail about you and Isabela, Queenie.  
COUSLAND: *disgusted noise* Of course, you have.  
VARRIC: *chuckles* So… is there any truth to it?  
COUSLAND: I’ll tell you if you tell me why you named your crossbow “Bianca”.  
VARRIC: Now that’s just…. Ugh, never mind then. Evil woman.  
****  
VARRIC: I shit you not, Queenie. It was this big!  
COUSLAND: Of all the… no, that’s not possible. I’ve held hundreds of those in my lifetime, and they are never that big… or wide, for that matter.  
VARRIC: Come on, you know I can’t lie about something that impressive.  
CASSANDRA: *disgusted noise* I cannot stand it anymore. What are you talking about?  
IRON BULL: I don’t know what you’re talking about, but it sounds hot.  
DORIAN: Vishante kaffas, what are you two discussing?!  
SOLAS: This discussion is making me undeniably uncomfortable.  
SERA: *laughs hysterically*  
COLE: I’m lost.  
VIVIENNE: Maker, what are you two talking about?!  
INQUISITOR: What is this discussion about?  
COUSLAND: Knives. Or daggers more specifically. Can’t really remember the difference.  
VARRIC: Why? What did you think we were talking about?  
****  
VARRIC: You know, Queenie, we really need to take the time to sit down and have a drink.  
COUSLAND: You mean I should tell you my story.  
VARRIC: Of course! The Hero of Ferelden’s tale is somewhat lacking. Stories as great as yours and Hawke’s must always be told from the source.  
COUSLAND: I do not have your talent for story-telling, Master Tethras, but if you’re buying, I will try to indulge you.  
VARRIC: So the Tale of the Hero of Ferelden in exchange for free drinks? That’s a hard bargain, but I accept.


	9. Vivienne

VIVIENNE: Ah… my dear Lady Cousland, I am surprised that you agreed to join the Inquisition.  
COUSLAND: Leliana wrote to me, she thought I could help.  
VIVIENNE: Indeed. I have not seen you since our Wintersend ball back in Denerim. Tell me, how is your husband?  
COUSLAND: Still deathly afraid of you. I will send him your regards if you wish.  
VIVIENNE: Thank you. I do like hearing from frightened Kings, you know.  
****  
VIVIENNE: It is good to see you in armor again, Lady Cousland. The tales are quite right when they said you are a formidable archer.  
COUSLAND: I doubt that. Leliana is still and will always be a better shot than I am.  
VIVIENNE: Really? Then how is it that you are the one who was called a Hero and not her?  
COUSLAND: Simply because I was the one who stabbed the Archdemon. But if I had a choice, I wish no one would call me that. The defeat of the Fifth Blight was a victory for everyone, not just me.  
VIVIENNE: Such modesty, my dear. You remind me much of our dear Cassandra… only you are more likely to shoot someone between the eyes rather than strangle them to death.  
COUSLAND: I have been known to do that.  
****  
COUSLAND: As I understand it, Lady Vivienne, mages are not allowed to bring any possessions relating to their former lives when they enter the Circle.  
VIVIENNE: That is true, my dear.  
COUSLAND: And yet you were able to rise to power with nothing more than your looks and wit. Aren’t you afraid that someone would accuse you of just using Duke Bastien’s wealth for your own gains?  
VIVIENNE: My dear girl, someone already has. And if I am not mistaken, you were driven out of Highever, turned into a penniless Warden and yet you ended up being the Queen of Ferelden.  
COUSLAND: I married Alistair because he was Alistair, and not because he was King Maric’s bastard. If he had remained with the Warden’s I still would’ve married him.  
VIVIENNE: And yet you manipulated the Landsmeet to oust the former Queen Anora and give the reins of running a country to a fool of a former Templar? Sneer as much as you like on how I rose to power, Lady Cousland, but you cannot deny that we are both players of the Great Game.  
****  
VIVIENNE: Am I to understand, Lady Cousland, that you were the one who conscripted the mage who blew up the Kirkwall Chantry into the Grey Wardens?  
COUSLAND: Anders was… is… a good man, and he was worthy of being a Warden.  
VIVIENNE: And yet he went off and killed thousands by causing an explosion? What kind of a good man is that?  
COUSLAND: One who just wants a pretty girl, a decent meal and the right to shoot lightning at fools.  
****  
COUSLAND: Lady Vivienne, I understand that you are a Knight Enchanter and that you are more than capable of handling yourself at close range, but I would prefer if you stayed at the back ranks.  
VIVIENNE: And this request is made for what reason?  
COUSLAND: Your clothes and headdress are too bright and sparkly that I mistake them for the target’s eyes when I’m aiming my arrows. It would be regrettable if I accidentally shot that pretty, manipulative little head of yours.  
****  
VIVIENNE: Although I must say, Lady Cousland, your fashions have gotten better since I last saw you.  
COUSLAND: I aim to please, Madame De Fer.  
VIVIENNE: You’re taken to silks and velvet more often in Skyhold instead of your filthy Ferelden cotton.  
COUSLAND: The Tevinter among our companions has more fashion-sense than you, it seems.  
VIVIENNE: You wound me, darling. My fashion sense is far more refined than that Tevinter fish.  
****  
VIVIENNE: My dear Lady Cousland, is that blood in your locket?  
COUSLAND: It is, Lady Vivienne.  
VIVIENNE: Normally, I would’ve thought Tevinter would practice such a barbaric act. I did not expect the Wardens to do such a thing.  
COUSLAND: Isn’t blood taken from mages before their Harrowing and put in phylacteries?  
VIVIENNE: Indeed, but we hardly wear them around our necks. What purpose does such a bauble have that you need to wear it?  
COUSLAND: It is a reminder of our life before we became Wardens.  
VIVIENNE: And do you miss that life that you insist on wearing it all the time?  
COUSLAND: I do not miss the life. I miss the people in that life.  
****  
COUSLAND: For a moment in Halamshiral, Lady Vivienne, you looked like you missed the court.  
VIVIENNE: It was my life, darling. It was only right that I miss it.  
COUSLAND: You’re doing your fair share of subtle machinations in Skyhold, though.  
VIVIENNE: The Game in Skyhold is more like a game of Sheperd’s Six, darling. Many of your opponents are bumbling fools that you hardly need a tactic to defeat them.  
****  
VIVIENNE: Is it true, Lady Cousland, that you can hear the Calling?  
COUSLAND: Indeed, Lady Vivienne.  
VIVIENNE: You have been hearing something that speaks of your death and you have not gone mad as your comrades in Adamant? How are you able to do such a feat?  
COUSLAND: When you know that there is someone waiting for you to return, that is all you need to conquer anything.  
VIVIENNE: I see. Your determination is admirable, Lady Cousland. I can see now why you are considered a Hero.  
COUSLAND: Thank you… I think.  
****  
VIVIENNE: Lady Cousland, darling, if I may ask, where did you get your boots?  
COUSLAND: Free Marches. From Arlanté DeCartier’s line.  
VIVIENNE: DeCartier? Isn’t he the designer from Starkhaven? How did you get your boots from him?  
COUSLAND: Well, when you travel as much as I do, Lady Vivienne, you can sometimes make side-trips for shopping.  
VIVIENNE: I see. I must ask my tailor to get me similar boots.  
COUSLAND: You can ask Leliana on how to order his works. I believe she sends a raven to him when she buys shoes.  
VIVIENNE: That is most helpful, darling, thank you.  
****  
COUSLAND: So am I to understand that you are Marquis de Ghislain’s… mistress?  
VIVIENNE: As a matter of fact, I am, Lady Cousland.  
COUSLAND: I see. I met with him on some occasions, when he was still hale and visited Denerim for trade negotiations. He was a good man. I am… sorry for your loss.  
VIVIENNE: Thank you, darling. That is… appreciated.  
COUSLAND: He had you when he left this world. To die in the arms of a loved one is the happiest death anyone could ever ask for.  
****  
COUSLAND: I’m sorry to point this out but, Lady Vivienne, I think one of the opals on your mask is fake.  
VIVIENNE: What? Where?  
COUSLAND: See? This one, by the ends. It’s just a painted glass stone. The sheen is different from the others.  
VIVIENNE: I am going to have to send a sternly worded- letter to my hat-maker.  
COUSLAND: Good. Because I think this diamond right here by the eyepiece is fake as well.  
VIVIENNE: The gall of that… *growls*   
COUSLAND: I think a personal appearance is more appropriate, Lady Vivienne.  
VIVIENNE: Agreed.  
****  
VIVIENNE: Darling, I must ask, what did you see in King Alistair that warrants your affections towards him?  
COUSLAND: When we travelled during the Fifth Blight, he is very… romantic, brave and caring. And funny.  
VIVIENNE: And idiotic.  
COUSLAND: *chuckles* He was, for a time. But he has learned from his mistakes. He is doing his best for his country.  
VIVIENNE: And I imagine the change in him is due, in part, to your influence?  
COUSLAND: Perhaps.  
VIVIENNE: No man succeeds without a good woman behind him?  
COUSLAND: A good woman and determination.  
VIVIENNE: Hmm… on that much, we can agree on.  
****  
COUSLAND: *groans*  
VIVIENNE: My dear Lady Cousland, are you quite alright?  
COUSLAND: I’m fine. I just… have a crick on my neck I can’t get rid of.  
VIVIENNE: Would you like to me schedule an appointment with the Imperial Garden Spa for you? I have a regular specialist there who would adore having you as a customer.  
COUSLAND: I doubt we could go there right now, Lady Vivienne.  
VIVIENNE: Nonsense, darling! I can have her in Skyhold by next week. Maker knows I need a good spa day as well.  
COUSLAND: That sounds like a plan, Lady Vivienne.  
****  
VIVIENNE: Returning to your darling husband when this is done, Lady Cousland?  
COUSLAND: Of course.   
VIVIENNE: Well, do give him my regards, my dear. I’m sure he misses you terribly.  
COUSLAND: Indeed, he has. But honestly, I’m going to soak in a hot bath before I greet him. I need at least three hours worth of scrubbing to get rid of all the dirt I’ve carried in all our misadventures.  
VIVIENNE: Ah, of course. I agree to that whole-heartedly.


	10. War Table/ Advisors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m keeping the format of this banter between Cullen, Leliana and Josephine, similar to the in-game Advisor banter, relating to my Cousland.

CULLEN: I’m surprised you were able to find the Hero of Ferelden, Leliana. She would be a most formidable ally and companion to have.  
LELIANA: It took a while to find her, but I am happy she is here.  
JOSEPHINE: Indeed. It must relieve you to know that your friend is safe.  
LELIANA: Yes, it is. She was one of my closest confidants. I am glad to see her again.  
******  
LELIANA: Cullen, Warden Commander Cousland is asking after your well-being.  
CULLEN: She does?  
LELIANA: She… remembers you from Kinloch Hold. She is happy you are doing well.  
CULLEN: I… see. Tell her I appreciate her concern and that I am quite alright.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: Leliana, I must ask you to convince the Warden Commander on wearing the dress I’ve requested for the ball in Halamshiral.  
LELIANA: *laughs* You can try. She didn’t even wear a dress during Alistair’s coronation. She told me the only dress she’ll ever wear in her life is her wedding dress.  
JOSEPHINE: *sighs in frustration*  
******  
JOSEPHINE: I’ve received word from Arl Fergus Cousland of Highever, Leliana.  
LELIANA: Oh, thank you. The Warden Commander has been waiting for ages for her brother’s letter. I’ll see that she gets it.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: Inquisitor, you should know that your spymaster and the Hero of Ferelden are quite the incorrigible pranksters.  
LELIANA: I don’t know what you’re talking about.  
JOSEPHINE: No? My… my things… in the courtyard.  
LELIANA: Jenna and I agreed that the ruffles were very festive.  
JOSEPHINE: Ugh… Leliana!  
******  
CULLEN: If you squint, Lake Calenhad is shaped like a bunny.  
LELIANA: Jenna said it looks more like a nug with a tail.  
JOSEPHINE: Ohh… I think I see it.  
******  
CULLEN: Was I mistaken, Leliana, or were you talking about shoes the whole evening with Lady Cousland?  
LELIANA: Jenna loves shoes as much as I do, but she distains Orlesian politics. Talking about shoes was the only way I could keep her to stay in Halamshiral.  
CULLEN: I… see. Thank you for your efforts then.  
******  
LELIANA: Your soldiers seemed energized lately, Commander.  
CULLEN: Lady Cousland has been assisting with the training lately. She may be a rogue, but her speed and skill impresses them. Although, it was rather embarrassing when one of them asked for her autograph.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: I found the money. Lady Cousland has requested the aid of King Alistair, and he has agreed to give us a loan for our efforts in Redcliffe. The Inquisition will compensate the families of those we lost at Haven.  
CULLEN: That is… most generous of them. Thank you.  
******  
CULLEN: First there was Lady Cousland, and now we have Lady Morrigan. This is turning to be quite the reunion you’re having.  
LELIANA: If King Alistair and the Qunari Arishok comes by, I’ll be sure to organize a party.  
JOSEPHINE: The… the Arishok?  
LELIANA: Didn’t you know? The current Arishok used to be one of our allies during the Blight. We called him ‘Sten’.  
CULLEN: But is he really…  
LELIANA: *laughs* I was only joking. The Arishok is much too busy in Par Vollen to come here to Ferelden.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: Leliana, The Qunari Arishok has written recently.  
LELIANA: And what did he say?  
JOSEPHINE: He said ‘I’m not a softie’.  
LELIANA: *laughs* Give me the letter. I will show it to the Warden Commander. She would love to hear from him.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: There has been an increase in the number of our soldiers.  
CULLEN: The confirmation that the Hero of Ferelden has joined the Inquisition helped with that. A lot of people still hold her in high regard.  
LELIANA: And that is good news for us. I’ll be sure to thank her for her efforts later.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: The Hero of Ferelden, The Herald of Andraste and now we have the Champion of Kirkwall. Our allies are truly powerful people.  
LELIANA: And if we’re going to fight Corypheus and his army, we’re going to need every one of them.  
******  
CULLEN: This is the fifteenth letter Lady Cousland has received from King Alistair this week.  
JOSEPHINE: They must miss each other terribly.  
LELIANA: They do, very much in fact. And thank you for honoring her wishes of not opening them.  
CULLEN: I was afraid of reading something inappropriate. From what I’ve heard from Varric, Lady Cousland can be rather… vivid in her description of things.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: It must’ve shocked the Warden Commander when she saw Corypheus’ dragon.  
LELIANA: It did. But she said that she knew the creature was not a true Archdemon, and that she’s anxious to kill it like she did before.  
CULLEN: Sometimes I wonder if she really is that brave, or that crazy.  
LELIANA: If you have traveled with her for as long as I did, Commander, you will realize that she is both.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: Any news on the Venatori agents in Denerim, Leliana?  
LELIANA: They have been eradicated, due to the Inquisitor’s decisions.  
CULLEN: Thank the Maker. I imagine Lady Cousland was relieved to hear such news.  
LELIANA: Very relieved. She ordered a pair of DeCartier boots for me in thanks.  
JOSEPHINE: Oh! Let me see!  
******  
CULLEN: I have sent a few of my men with Josephine’s diplomats to Orlais for the negotiations to assist in guarding the King. I doubt that anything drastic will happen, but if it eases Lady Cousland’s mind, then I would agree to her requests.  
LELIANA: Thank you, Commander. She appreciates your efforts.  
CULLEN: Tell her to think nothing of it. It is her efforts that helped me back in Kinloch Hold, after all.  
*******  
JOSEPHINE: Leliana, how is the Warden Commander?  
LELIANA: A little shaken after the events at Adamant Fortress, but also relieved. None of her Wardens were there, as she had sent them with Weisshaupt. But she mourns the loss of Stroud. He was a good man.  
CULLEN: Indeed. I’ll sure to hold a memorial vigil for him.  
LELIANA: Lady Cousland would appreciate that, Commander.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: Leliana, we have received a letter for Lady Cousland… from an Antivan Crow?  
LELIANA: Ah… Zevran. I’m surprised that he still would like to keep in touch with her. Give it me, I’ll see that she gets it.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: Leliana, a cask of Golden Scythe just came for the Lady Cousland.  
LELIANA: Ah yes. Oghren’s doing, no doubt. I’ll have one of the servants put it in the cellar.  
******  
LELIANA: Commander, the Lady Cousland would like you to have this.  
CULLEN: Tea? But why…? “This is an elfroot and embrium tea infused with dragonthorn. Steep and drink a cup before breakfast. It should help with the lyrium withdrawal.” Well… that’s… thank you.  
******  
JOSEPHINE: No, absolutely not.  
CULLEN: But Lady Cousland has agreed to it! Fifteen mabaris, sired by her very own mabari, Barkspawn! If our enemies use mabaris against us then why can’t we?  
JOSEPHINE: Because we do not have any space for them in the courtyard!  
LELIANA: You underestimate a Fereldan’s love for the mabaris, Josie. Let me take care of it, I’ll find a place for them.  
JOSEPHINE: *groans* I just don’t want Skyhold to smell of… dog stink.  
*******  
CULLEN: So… Leliana, am I correct to assume that Lady Cousland has been hearing this Calling they speak of?   
LELIANA: *sigh* She does. It’s the reason why she’s been staying at the tavern more recently.  
JOSEPHINE: It must be hard for her to tolerate. She must possess a strong will to reject Corypheus’ influence.  
LELIANA: I am worried for her, but I know she has faced far more than this. And she knows that I am here for her, and that comforts her.  
CULLEN: Thank the Maker for your friendship, then.  
*******  
JOSEPHINE: Leliana, Lady Cousland seemed upset. Does it have something to do with Lady Morrigan’s eluvian?  
LELIANA: Yes. She has seen reports of what the eluvian can do. She was angry at her for keeping such a dangerous object in Skyhold. But I know Jenna will speak to her again soon. She is a very loyal friend.  
*******  
CULLEN: Will Lady Cousland be returning to Denerim when this is done, Leliana?  
LELIANA: That is her plan. She has missed King Alistair terribly. But she said that the Inquisition is welcome to visit her and write to her if we need anything else.  
JOSEPHINE: That is most kind of her. I will make sure that her trust in us will be well regarded.


	11. Disposition, Flirts, Combat and Companion Comments

**COUSLAND’S DISPOSITION**

The player can tell generally how Cousland feels about the Inquisitor by engaging her in a "generic" conversation (i.e. a conversation where her greeting is not changed by any other factors such as a quest or cutscene).

_Hostile (-75 to -30):_

Cousland will greet the Inquisitor with "What do you want?" or "Back again?" or "Yes, Archdemon? Oh, sorry, thought you were someone else." And ends conversations with “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

_Cold (-29 to -5):_

Cousland will greet the Inquisitor with "Hmm?" or "What is it?" or "What?" And ends conversations with “Yup.”

_Neutral (-4 to 34):_

Cousland will greet the Inquisitor with "Hmm?" or “Hey.” And ends conversations with “Later.”

_Warm (35 to 74):_

Cousland will greet the Inquisitor with "Need anything?" or "What’s up?" or "Inquisitor?" And ends conversations with “See you later, Inquisitor.”

_Friendly (75 to 125):_

Cousland will greet the Inquisitor with "Need to chat? I’ll get the drinks." or "Oh hey, you’re here! Pull up a seat so we can chat.” or “A Queen always has time for her friends.” And ends conversations with “Leaving already? We haven’t even finished our drinks!”

* * *

 

**FLIRTS**

**_(Female Inquisitor)_ **

INQUISITOR: So do you think we can ever…

COUSLAND: Oh? OH! You mean… sorry, Inquisitor, I don’t swing that way. But thanks for the interest.

**_(Male Inquisitor)_ **

INQUISITOR: So do you think we can ever…

_Hostile (-75 to -30):_

COUSLAND: To be blunt? Even if I wasn’t married, I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole, Inquisitor.

_Cold (-29 to -5):_

COUSLAND: Note the ring on the finger, Inquisitor

_Neutral (-4 to 34):_

COUSLAND: No. Sorry.

_Warm (35 to 74):_

COUSLAND: *chuckles* Unless you want to start a war with the King of Ferelden, Inquisitor, I suggest you stop. Alistair can be very jealous, and these walls have eyes, thanks to Leliana.

_Friendly (75 to 125):_

COUSLAND: Oh, you wicked man. *laughs* You have no idea how tempting that sounds BUT! Sorry, I am married to the King of Ferelden, you know.

 

* * *

 

**COMBAT COMMENTS**

_Unlocking doors/ chest_

Ugh, you and your fat fingers. Let me do it.

Step aside, amateur.

If my mother could see me breaking and entering, she would’ve had my head.

 

_Stealth_

Now you see me… now you don’t!

Try to keep up, darlings.

MAAAAAYYYYHHHEEEEMMMM!!!

 

_Enemy Kills_

Scratch one!

Ohhh… right in the eye!

Ouch… right in the dangle bags.

Why yes, I am ridiculously awesome, thank you.

And… bow! With a flourish!

_Low on health_

Oh fuck… oh fuck! OH FUCK!!!

Wait… is that my blood?

Alistair is waiting for me… I won’t let it end here!

_Low on stamina_

Somebody pitch me a drink!

*pants*

I’m getting too old for this shit.

_Reviving from KO_

Holy mother-… ow!

Nobody tell Alistair I fell, okay?

Ohhh… these fuckers are gonna get it.

_After battle_

Yep. Still ridiculously awesome.

And THAT is why you don’t mess with us.

I remember the days during the Blight. Ah, good times.

Ahh… I wish Zevran could have seen this.

Thank you! I’ll be here all week!

The Theirins send their regards.

 

_Fallen Comrades_

_(Inquisitor)_ Inquisitor! Hang on!

 _(Inquisitor)_ Hey! Don’t die on us now!

 _(Blackwall)_ Holy…! Blackwall’s down!

 _(Blackwall)_ Somebody get the Warden up!

 _(Cassandra)_ Maker’s breath, how did they take that woman down?!

 _(Cassandra)_ Cassandra’s down! Time to panic!

 _(Cole)_ Cole! Hang on, baby!

 _(Cole)_ You hurt my boy! I’m gonna kill you!

 _(Dorian)_ Dorian! Less twirling, more surviving!

 _(Dorian)_ Somebody get him! Blood is hard to remove from his clothes!

 _(Iron Bull)_ Maker’s breath, somebody get that blasted oaf up!

 _(Iron Bull)_ Bull’s down?! Oh shit!

 _(Sera)_  Sera! Get up, girl!

 _(Sera)_ Damn it, Sera, I told you to stay away!

 _(Solas)_ The Fade Walker is down!

 _(Solas)_ Solas! Not a good time to wander the Fade, friend!

 _(Varric)_ I can smell Varric’s burning chest hair from here!

 _(Varric)_ If he doesn’t get up, I claim dibs on Bianca!

 _(Vivienne)_ Vivienne! You’re gonna get dirt in your clothes if you do that!

 _(Vivienne)_  Oh, she’s gonna get pissed when she wakes up.

 

* * *

 

**COMPANION COMMENTS:**

_(Blackwall)_  The Hero of Ferelden is in the Inquisition! Maker’s balls, that’s quite a feat. But you could tell she’s tired of the fights. She cleaned up one mess already… and to be thrown to another one…

 _(Cassandra)_ She’s… not what I expected. But she is here now. And that is enough for me.

 _(Cole)_ She hears it. Swirling songs from somewhere. Shut it out. Shove it away. She swallows the fears. But they’re always there… simmering in the surface. She’s brave, but tired. I wish I could help her. But she needs him, not me.

 _(Dorian)_ She’s a lively woman, isn’t she? But she’s had too many adventures. Great taste in clothing, though.

 _(Iron Bull)_ I like her, big hero that she is. Wish I could have her on the Chargers too. She’s a red-head, so that’s a big plus in my book. Too bad she’s married, though.

 _(Sera)_ I’ve always thought Wardens were a serious, grumpy brunch. But she’s fun. Plus she’s banging the king. *staccato laugh*

 _(Solas)_ I sense a great deal of sadness in her, and fatigue. She has fought many battles, seen many deaths. To see all this happening after she had saved Ferelden… she has my sympathies, and my admiration.

 _(Varric)_ I travelled with her husband once, King Alistair, a few years ago. They’re the perfect couple, despite the fact that they both have the Taint. They’re both snarky as hell too. *chuckles* Birds of a feather…

 _(Vivienne)_ I’m actually rather shocked that she’s here with the Inquisition. Still, she is an ally worth having. Although, I am fearful with the state of Ferelden, especially with that fool husband of hers on the throne.

 

 

 


End file.
